I’ve lost myself and I love it

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May last year I travelled to Treasure Island, Florida to attend a three week long NLP Trainer certification programme.

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is a behavioural technology that helps people achieve better communication, better goal achievement, greater happiness –  well simply to create the life, the relationships and the situation that one wants. I don’t know what it’s like for you, but I’ve found that often when I’m a bit unsure or nervous or just not myself, I typically don’t do my best or make the best impression. My head starts spinning with various thoughts:

“what if I make a fool of myself”

“I hope no-one will see how nervous I am”

“what if it all goes to pot”

and the more I think that way, the more I become focused on myself and my own feelings. I just become less focused on what I can contribute to the world. It all becomes quite ego focused, just on ME, ME, ME. And it feels rubbish, doesn’t it?  Because then it’s as if it’s all up to me, as if I have to have all the answers, as if I have to be perfect (horrid thought:-))

Something happened during those weeks in Florida.

I learned to focus more on the world around me and less on myself. I learned to be just “in the moment”, to focus all my attention outside of myself and in doing so I found a new calm, a new presence.  A calm that tells me that everything is OK.  That I can’t make a fool of myself (that’s all just in my head). When I focus on the world around me, I have access to more of my resources, my instincts, my wisdom.

If you would like to experience the same thing, then practice focusing on the world around by expanding your visual field. Instead of staring firmly at something, try relaxing your eye muscles and take in more information through your peripheral vision. Do it every day and especially whenever you feel tense or worried.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

I’m not saying that it’s constantly like this for me now, but I do have short moments without my ego involved and in those moments I feel better than ever before.  I know more, I achieve more – everything just falls into place.

And I love every moment! I intend to have more of those!

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a ticket to TED!

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Yes, I know that Christmas has just been and that it’s 10 months to the next one, but it can’t be too early to start influecning, can it….? I mean, to increase your chances…..

This year I won’t ask for another handbag, there are limits to how many handbags a person can have, even for me:-).

No, this year I wish for TED. How wonderful it would be to attend TED.

If you haven’t discovered TED yet, then it’s a yearly speaker’s conference where creative, inspiring and aspiring people share their knowledge, ideas and visions. Imagine being showered by inspiration for several days by some of the world’s best thinkers and doers! About 50 people speak for 18 minutes each during 4 days! Wow! Talk about bombarding yourself with possibilities!

I’m keeping my fingers crossed. And I promise to be good of course!

In the meantime I will continue to listen to all these fantastic inspiring people at TED Talks – hundreds of video clips from these conferences. At times I hardly dare visit their website as I know that I so easily get hooked and then don’t get anything else done.

One of my favourite clips is with Sir Ken Robinson who talks about creativity and how we need to teach our children differently than we do today. Wonderful! If you want to laugh and be inspired – here is the link.

Although, isn’t it so that our entire lives are one big TED conference, with inspiration and possibilities. When I look around at all the people I meet, I am awed at the contribution everyone makes.

Think of how you inspire and influence those around you. Every day. Isn’t that something!

Have you stopped listening to the news? Good!

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I love news! I want to know what’s going on in the world – what people are doing and why, what’s happening to our nature, what medical discoveries have been made? And then I open the newspaper, or look at its cover, because that is unfortunately enough:-( .Or switch on the TV or the radio – it’s the same everywhere. Everything is reported in such dark terms – “worst”, “crashing”, “layoffs”, “downward spiral”, “dead” – on and on, endlessly.

Don’t think I’m recommending putting your head in the sand – absolutely not! I think us human beings have a joint responsibility for all the things that happen in the world and therefore we need to know what’s going on in the world.   Unfortunately we are so influenced by what’s said and reported around us though. When we’ve heard 10 times in a day that there is a financial crisis then this may finally create a belief that that is the case (whether this is true or not), which affects our thoughts and our actions.  We start believing what’s being said so much that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We start acting to reinforce what we’ve heard.

“As there is a financial crisis, our business will do badly this year”. And then I get depressed, introspective, and no longer see possibilities, or look for them, or create them! Instead of thinking – “what are the possibilities here, how can we offer more relevant products and services in the current situation?”

“Since there is a credit crunch, I may loose my job”. And that makes me feel down, negative and less focused on my job (and more on the worry!). Instead of thinking – “I’ll show everyone how good I am at what I do, put in some extra effort. I’ll remind myself of my strengths, continually invest in my own development so that I can market myself and be attractive on the job market if I want to look for a new job”.

So what can we do?

Take control of your mind! Take control of your thoughts!

Don’t let the world around you dictate how you think and how you feel. It’s always possible to make a choice. And if you listen to the news, think of how they affect you. Balance the “bad” news with the “good” news.

Bombard yourself with positive, strenghtening thoughts – the thoughts that can create positive results. Read a book that makes you laugh. Watch your favourite sitcom or funny film. Don’t watch the news just before going to bed (then you risk taking the news with you into your dreams) – let yourself go to sleep with a calm, peaceful and positive mind, read or listen to a relaxing and affirming recording, or your favourite music. Use affirmations, visualise.

Search on Google for websites that focus on good news or positive aspects of the news. Look around and notice all the good things that happen – people having fun, people helping each other, children exploring life with a curious mind.

There’s an abundance of good news. Listen to them, enjoy them and let them help you create the reality you want. It’s your life – live it, love it!

An unfortunate slip and new muscles

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A friend of mine gave me some affirmation cards for Christmas. The one that jumped out the most was “My body is healthy and strong”, as I had carried around a cold for 5 weeks leading up to Christmas, and I really felt it was time to focus on health. So that’s what I’ve been doing.

A couple of weeks ago I was heading for the city of Stockholm to meet two good friends for lunch.  On my way to the station to catch the train I realised that my boots were a bit slippery (hadn’t used them since last winter and had forgotten how bad they were). But you know how it is, you think “oh, I haven’t got the time to go back and change (as I was already a little late for the train), I’ll just have to walk more carefully”. Hm. What happened? Well, about 100 metres from the station I finally slipped badly, flew up in the air and landed hard on my coxic!

AAAARGH!!

Behind me was a young girl who very kindly asked if I needed help. I was lying there in indescribable pain, nauseous, thinking “now I’m gonna miss the train” and declined the help (because who wants to be helpless!) For a split second I considered crawling back home again, but I decided to instead drag myself onto my feet and started hobbling to the station. I was in such pain and it went slow but I got to the station AND caught my train (quite pleased about that:-)).

One of my friends couldn’t make it but two of us met at Zink Grill and thoroughly enjoyed our delicions lunch. While I was sitting there much of the pain disappeared and I felt quite good. Then, when it was time to take our leave I realised that this was going to hurt for a while. PAIN!

And since then I’ve had all sorts of strange pains and discomforts, varying from day to day.

Now I happened to injure my coxic when I was 17 (with the help of a moped in Greece…..) and that bothered me for 15 years, so I know how bad coxics can be.

I think everything happens for a reason and even if you can’t see the reason straight away, you can always go look for it.

So what was the reason for slipping and hurting myself? Well, I had to think for a bit, but I’ve found that my posture has improved a lot. I tend to slouch and now I sit up straight with a beautiful posture! I’ve also “had to” bend my knees to pick up things from the floor (and believe me, with 6 year old twins at home there’s a lot of “picking up stuff” going on!) and I’ve received new, or newly discovered muscles  in my legs! Wow! Who knows, maybe I’ll finally get fit…..:-)

My body is healthy and strong, my body is healthy and strong, my body is healthy and strong!